Top tips to turn your man on

Follow these top tips and turn your man on no matter what stage of the relationship you are at. There is always room for spicing things up to keep the fire burning, read below for tricks that are sure to turn any man weak.

Be amazing in the bedroom

If you notice I didn’t say be good or even great in the bedroom I said ‘be amazing’ and here’s why. There are plenty of other women in the world as you know who are just waiting for a good man to come in to their life and you already have one. That being said although you are not in competition to ‘get a man’ you still have to be aware that good man are hard to find so if you have one then you must do your best to keep it that way. We all know that Men love sex that comes as no surprise and your man is no different. He will probably want to be intimate with you as often as possible so it makes sense to ensure that the sex is as interesting as it can be. You want every session to feel brand new and for that to be the case you have to be amazing. Make a point of getting to know what your partner likes and don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone to turn him on ‘what you are not willing to do another woman is.’ So remember that. If you’re a sex novice then seek advice from the experts watch porn and read the karma sutra for tips and tricks do whatever you need to do to educate yourself in the arena of sex until you are confident.

Initiate sex once in a while

We all know that men are natural hunters and in the pursuit of love they are the ones who usually take the first initiative. And there is nothing wrong with that, it shows a man’s confidence and willing to try ‘no matter how many times he may have been knocked down before. However now that he has you although he still wants to play his manly role there is nothing sexier than when a woman decides to take charge in the bedroom by letting your man know that you want him ‘right now.’ At first it may seem odd if you are not used to being the aggressor but trust me there is empowerment in a woman knowing what she wants and going after it. Tell your man exactly what you are going to do to him when you get home and follow through, be dominant and allow your man to kick back and enjoy the ride ‘literally.’ Tell him how wonderful he is and boost his big ego men love to feel like the king in your world so let him.

Wear sexy lingerie

No matter what size or shape you are there is something out here to suit everyone so there is really no excuse why you ant dress up sexy often for your man. If you feel insecure about your shape then check out some of my other posts on self esteem and how to love yourself fully. But believe me when I say if your man loves you its more than skin deep so while you work on yourself don’t forget to reward him with what he likes. Men are visual and enjoy to look at sexy women so make that woman be you. Try not to get too complacent in your relationship believing that because you have him he won’t stray or even if he never strays who wants their man being turned on by looking at other women? Not me. And if you’re the same I bet you don’t either. So keep it sexy ‘slutty even’ be daring in the bedroom and find something easy on the eye and easy to remove. Trust me he will thank you for it and the next day you will be the only thing on his mind. Never let your man leave the house hungry – Hungry for sex or food!

Talk Dirty

This may come as a surprise to some but men love a woman that can talk dirty. You need to separate yourself from the other women in his life such as his mother, grandmother, sisters, aunties etc. Be the one woman he can relate to on a sexual level and talk to him in a way that no other woman could. As previously stated this all adds to being amazing. And while we know you are a great girlfriend in every other sense this should be no different.  Use the kind of language you could not speak in front of your grandfather. Be vocal so that your man knows when he is hitting the right spots. This will make him want to please you even more so it’s a win / win scenario. It may feel forced or un-natural at first especially if you have never done it before but just go with it and ‘fake it till you make it if you have to.’ Trust me you will both benefit.

Turn yourself on

It’s so easy for us as women to lay back and let our significant other take charge. We often forget that a bit of encouragement goes a long way and we also forget that if you want something done right then ‘do it yourself.’

Obviously if you are reading this then I expect you are in a committed relationship and your man knows exactly what to do to turn you on but even so there is nothing wrong with giving him extra pointers now and again. Help him to help you by showing him the way and he will thank you for it. Get familiar with your own body and learn the art of pleasuring yourself. Not only will this drive him crazy it will also add to the fore play needed to ensure a great sex-ercise session.

Offer surprise random sex acts

Keeping your relationship new and fun requires you both to be adventurous. If you are only having sex in the bedroom at 10.30pm 3 days out of the week then I predict your relationship will run out of heat real quick. Remember when you first met and how it felt when the phone rang and it was your man, feel those butterflies and keep the fire burning every moment you can. A great way to do this is to be spontaneous. Don’t wait for him to always initiate sex as mentioned previously, but on top of that try to be open to doing it in new places, positions and times. If you can then pop up at his job wearing only a long overcoat and sexy lingerie underneath or pull over to a side street on the way home from shopping for a quickie. Maybe you could sneak in to the bathroom at a party and really get your groove on or simply offer to taste him all over randomly after the football match. Whatever it may be have fun, keep it cute and try not to get arrested for indecent exposure.

Keep the lights on

I can’t stress the point enough that men are visual by nature and they love to see everything to be fully aroused. There is nothing sexier than confidence especially in the bedroom and I understand first hand what it is like to want to hide less than flattering parts of your body but if your man loves you then he will kiss your stretch marks, scars and hold on to that back fat to prepare for landing. Although I speak in jest it can be daunting for us women to bear all but just remember that you are perfect in the eyes of your creator and if there is something that you do not like about your body then you have the power to change it or accept it either way don’t go through life in fear of what others think as that is none of your business. Own your look and they will have no option but to adore you. So keep the lights on and let him see the whole beauty that is you.

Wear that thing he likes

Now i am not speaking only about lingerie as we have discussed that earlier. What I mean in this section is to wear the type of clothes your man finds attractive. Depending on both of your styles that will mean something different to everyone but hopefully you know what that is. If he likes you in high heels then wear them when you are together, accentuate your best features be it your legs, boobs bum etc.. Choose clothes that compliment your physique so that when you are walking down the street with him he cant keep his eyes or hands off of you. Find out his favourite colour and incorporate that often. Now I don’t suggest going to the local superstore with three babies in tow in your highest heels and crop top ‘unless of course you want to’ all I mean is that you should make an effort to stay current in and sexy for your man and remember why he fell for you in the first place. If you were a size 10 jeans when you met then don’t assume he will find you attractive if you suddenly gain 40lbs ‘unless you’re pregnant’ and even then after you have the baby you can still go back to your original size. All I’m saying is keep in mind what he likes about you to keep him forever interested.

Recommended Reading

‘If you are struggling with creating new habits in your life or suffer from low self esteem check out my books for more advice and guidance to help you prosper in both of these areas.’

Self Esteem        habits book by victoria grant

How to be a Great girlfriend

Before learning how to be a great girlfriend kindly read below.

Disclaimer: every man is not your man, these tips are supposed to be used only on YOUR MAN ….men who have shown and proved to be worthy of your love. Please do not treat regular casual sex boys as husband material ‘they do not deserve it and will not appreciate your efforts these men do not see you as a girlfriend let alone a ‘great girlfriend.’


1 – Be respectful

I have mentioned in previous posts the importance of being respectful when you are dealing with your man in my speak only to the king in him.

Now that being said if you are in a relationship then I agree that love and respect go both ways however to be a great girlfriend you must know what your man needs in order for him to feel important and secure. So don’t emasculate him by calling him stupid or dimming down his ideas.

Even if you do not agree with something he is doing or saying approach him like a lady, stay within your feminine energy ‘as that is what you own’ and let him politely know your thoughts. Always ‘kill them with kindness’ as the saying goes. Understand what makes your man tick and by belittling him too friends or in front of people will not make him want to be with you ‘even if its in jest.’ Always compliment him in front of others and support his efforts. Never swear or call him names in an argument as there are some things that are very hard to take back.

There is nothing worse than being with a partner that does not show you support.

We all need that one person in life who we can depend on to give us an extra push towards our dreams especially when times are rough and nothing seems to fall in to place.  Times like these reveal the real from the fakes.

And trust me no one wants to be dating a hater. As the saying goes ‘treat others how now you want to be treated.’ If you want your man to be supportive and treat you as a great girlfriend then you too must show him support.  If your man wants to change career and leave his faithful 9 to 5 job to become a football agent then be his biggest cheerleader.

Let him know that you are by his side and believe in his abilities, give him confidence and at the same time be wise. If you know that by him leaving his job his rent or mortgage may suffer then perhaps suggest that he pursues his dream on a part time basis until it brings in enough revenue to be a full time business.

Whatever the case may be ‘never be a dream killer’ if you have worries or doubts about your man’s abilities to succeed then maybe you are with the wrong person. Stay positive and proud of whom you have by showing kindness and keeping the peace and harmony.

2 – Stay feminine:

Remember that you are his lady first and foremost and that it is the female energy that you bring to the table. Just because we had a feminist movement and wanted equal working rights for women that does not make us men. Just as we bring value to the workplace in a different way than men do we still also bring much value to our personal relationships.

Nurture your man, cuddle and massage him and run his bath, ask him if he has eaten and if not then be sure to prepare a nice plate of food for him. When your man gets home from work allow him to vent out his shift to you if necessary and be supportive, don’t nag or moan.

Make sure that the home is clean, smells fresh and that you look your best. Just because you’re at home does not give you the excuse to always lay around in your head scarf and tracksuit bottoms. If you want him to think of only you then you must remind him daily of the reasons why. So put on something nice and make sure you look presentable.

3 – Listen to him

We all want to be heard and at times we as women can demand to be the center of attention and without even realizing it our passion and high energy can often take over a whole conversation.

And although your love for the cause may have been part of his initial attraction to you when you are in a relationship you must remember that there are two of you involved. We were blessed with 2 ears and 1 mouth so that we can listen more than we speak and I do not mean ‘listen just to answer’ in other words don’t sit quietly thinking about how you will respond to what your man is saying instead hear him out, smile and take in deeply what he is telling you.

Who knows you might just learn something. Men want to be heard too, just as much as women in fact it just so happens that they are a bit more introvert with their feelings than we are so if your man wants to talk then see it as a magic moment and pay close attention.

4 – Be nice to his family / friends

Now unless you have the mother in law to be from hell or your mans friends are right losers then this is a very important step that needs to be adhered to if you want to be a great girlfriend. Before your man met you he had another special woman in his life, the one that gave him life and raised him ‘his mum’ alongside his mother were his support system ‘his friends’ and believe me when I say that these two groups of people hold a special place in his heart.

Generally speaking a man depends on his mum and his friends for nurture, guidance, advice and support. Their opinions usually count for quite a lot especially at the beginning of his relationship so make sure you are beautiful on the inside if you are wanting to impress.

Some mums can feel as though they may lose their baby boy when he ventures out in to the dating arena as do can the friends if they see their boy falling hard for some woman. It is your job to make them love you so that they cannot help but tell your man why he should be with you and only you.

As stated previously their opinion counts so make it a good one. That being said I do understand that there are some mothers who are hard to impossible to please but do try your best and at least it shows your man that you are not petty, but that you are naturally kind and patient. Two great girlfriend traits!

5 – Don’t make him jealous

All to often it seems women are determined to make their man feel jealous and insecure by going out of their way to mention how many guys attempted to talk to them that afternoon or by simply flirting with random men in front of their partner. Now some may argue that by displaying this behaviour it will make your man want you more as he will know that you are in demand but trust me the opposite is true. Your man already knows that you are in demand that is why he is with you as in his eyes you are the greatest catch out here ‘ and if that’s not the case then you are with the wrong man.’

By trying to make your man jealous two things can happen. 1- He will think that you are not really interested in being with him so he will begin looking for other options elsewhere or 2- he will get angry and end up paranoid every time you leave the house, thus causing friction and animosity in the relationship or 3- god forbid things could even get physical and you may get hurt.

If you are experiencing a distance in your relationship then ask yourself why instead of automatically trying to game play.

Approach the situation like an adult and ask your man outright what the issue is, maybe you will find that you just had your wires crossed or that a little more spice was needed to turn him on. Either way show him that you are a great girlfriend by shwing that you care about his needs.

6 – Give him sex

If you haven’t already then make sure you read my 10 tips on how to turn your man on then please go over to the post and familiarize yourself with some of the amazing tips shared. It’s a no brainer that sex usually plays a big part in a relationship unless of course there are difficulties in terms of health and ability to take part in such exercise, and that being said if you are able you should also be willing.

Men are visual, physical beings and it is their natural instinct and part of their Masculine energy to pursue and seek sexual relations. Your man is no different at a basic level so he too will require a release of sexual energy often. How often depends on what you both decide is appropriate but I believe that the passion that creates a sexual encounter between two loving people in a relationship can keep the intimacy and love alive.

Sex should be a spiritual connection where your souls intertwine and 2 become 1 so don’t ever take it for granted. Such a powerful experience should only be shared with someone who values and loves you deeply as once that moment is lost you will never get it back. So if you are in a committed to being the great girlfriend that you know you can and should be and you are in a heartfelt relationship then you and your man deserve to be having great sex and often.

Recommended Reading

‘If you are struggling with creating new habits in your life or suffer from low self esteem check out my books for more advice and guidance to help you prosper in both of these areas.’

Self Esteem        habits book by victoria grant

X 5 ways to Make him love you

In the article I share with you information that can if you allow it literally ‘make him love you.’

No matter who you are or how far away the prospect of your desire may seem there are basic tips that can make him love the real you.

Make him love you– Be Polite

It may come as no surprise but saying please and thank you still goes along way in todays society. It is the little things that count and although many are taught these attributes from a young age, there are many who forget or choose not to use their manners.

When you meet a man that you believe may be boyfriend or even husband material you have to remember that often times as a single fella he is already playing the field, which mean he is usually having fun with a few different women. So what separates you from the rest?

Well to be honest unless you know the other females he is talking to you will have no idea so my advice is to play it safe by always being and showing the best version of you. Now if you are pretending to be nice or trying to ‘act’ your way into a relationship it wont last. ‘Character is like pregnancy so they say , it will eventually show,’ so be polite naturally.

Remember to compliment your date and offer to pay or at least go halves on the meal or outing this Make him love you. No one owes you anything in this world so don’t take anyone for granted ‘especially if they are treating you kind. Do the same and act like a lady, be feminine and confident. We all have opinions on different subjects but is it worth arguing with someone you are getting to know because of your string views on politics or religion? Think before you speak and always stay smiling.

2 Make him love you – Do not sleep with him too soon

It seems as though in todays world of social media that everyone has such easy access to one and other. Through the various apps and websites women and men from all over the country are able to meet up within the first few clicks or swipes of seeing each other.

The problem with this method is that they have not really seen each other, all they know is a profile which is 90% of the time fabricated to enhance ones features and lifestyle. If you are lacking in self esteem then i see how you as a woman can get so caught up in the hype and end up falling for one of these smooth talking men but what does that say about you?

Well if you are wanting to settle down and think that you may have found the man of your dreams then it says quite a lot.

First of all he may think that if it was so easy for him to get you in the bed then how many other men must have done the same, now this may or may not be true and he could honestly be the first guy that you decided to sleep with sooner than later but he will not know this and unfortunately for you if you try and explain otherwise, he probably wont believe you and after your sexual encounter he’s likely to be distant and stand offish.

Secondly you don’t know where he has been and you have not yet established the ground rules ‘as these take time’ time for him to at least yearn for you and se that you have self worth.

You don’t only want to have the man you want to keep him so you must show him why you would make a great girlfriend.’ Remember that you are a woman and therefore extremely valuable after all you ‘create life.’

A man or anyone else for that matter can only treat you how treat yourself so show him that you are amazing and in demand. By making him wait he will desire you more and more each day and while he is waiting he will be getting to know and fall in love with the real you.

3 Make him love you – Cook for him

The real way to a mans heart is through his stomach as I am sure you have heard before but what does that really mean?

Well if you are trying to make him love you and are in the dating stages then this man needs to literally ‘need you’ without even knowing it if you get my drift. If you have a father, a brother an uncle, nephew or any other man in your life then I am sure you would agree that their favourite place is usually the fridge and the toilet. There is something about food that makes a man feel strong and secure.

Maybe it goes back to the hunter gatherer days ‘who knows’ but all I know is that if you can cook your man a hearty meal you are half way there for him to fall in love. Before a ma even thinks about marrying or settling down with a woman he already has another very important woman in his life and that is his mother.

Now s you can imagine she has been feeding and nurturing this man since birth and unlike women who flea the nest to nurture their new found families when a man leaves his mother it is to find the next best thing ‘someone who can nurture all of his manly needs’ the main ones being sex and food.

Now i mentioned above why you should hold out on the sex for a while but in the meantime ladies cook your heart out. Now if you cant cook i urge you to learn after all everyone needs to eat and good nutrition is important. Find out what he likes and practice the recipe until you have it mastered. Feed his belly and his mind until you are ready to feed his body.

Make him love you – Have your own Life

Now this is very important whether you are trying to snap up a man or not as having your own life means that you are not dependent on anyone else to provide you with happiness ‘after all happiness is your own responsibility.’

There is nothing like someone who is dedicated to their own elevation who knows what they want and who is working towards their goals in life. Having your own life shows character and self esteem further proving to others that you are not afraid to go it alone and take charge of your destiny.

When you are dating and find interest in a certain man it can easily lead to you becoming caught up in his world. Wondering where he is , what he is doing and who he is with. This can unfortunately lead to a look of desperation on your part and if you are not careful it could scare him away.

The best thing to do to avoid such situations is to be so caught up in your own situations that the tables get turned and he is the one wanting to spend time with you. By doing your own thing not only are you prospering in your own life you are also letting others know that you have integrity and discipline and although it may sound crazy believe me these are sexy.

Focus on you and what you enjoy doing and the universe will always bless you. By doing things and going places you get to meet new people and find out what it is that you really enjoy and what may even be your purpose here on Earth equally when you do eventually see your man you will have more interesting things to discuss.

5 – Make him love you – Be sexy

some people may tell you that being sexy means to turn your man on by wearing red lipstick, lingerie, thigh high boots and gyrating around the bedroom to initiate fun and believe me they wouldn’t be wrong but as with everything there is a time and a place and for the purpose of this post ‘how to make him love you’ I want to stick to some of the other more subtle ways to be sexy.

The first way I believe a woman can be sexy is to be feminine what I mean by this is to act like a lady and to exude female energy. Another thing men find sexy is confidence. Know how to carry yourself. Walk with your head held high, don’t get drunk if you are out on a date with him, speak politely and fully be present in each moment.

Make him love you by showing him who you really are on the inside. Be kind to others, and children let him see that you are a good role model and would eventually make a great mother. Take interest in something he likes ie: football, you don’t have to be an expert but if it is what he enjoys then ask him questions about his team now and again and learn a  few of the rules. It will show that you care about what is important to him.

And the last way to be sexy is to show him respect. Men love money and respect. I don’t advise giving him money but respect can go along way in stroking his ego and we all know that men love their ego stroked. Let him be a man and speak only to the king in him.

Recommended Reading

‘If you are struggling with creating new habits in your life or suffer from low self esteem check out my books for more advice and guidance to help you prosper in both of these areas.’

Self Esteem        habits book by victoria grant